Nangi. 

I heard this one the radio, I miss you; Oh Help me find my way How can I be fine when My heart cannot confide in You Time won’t hide these scars How can I break through this I guess I’ll have to do this Alone.  Lone here Unclear Why you had to go Heaven…

secondary survivors 

To secondary-survivors,I’ve been grappling with the idea of “secondary survivors”. I know the helplessness that comes with watching something you love wilt because someone pissed on it sans permission. Trust me, I do. You see, I was quite fond of myself, and on good days, I still am. So i know, I know. I want…

PS: 

I like people who have the audacity to say it to my face. Whispers are for cowards and cowardice bores me. That’s all I ask for, honesty. Give me something true so I can be true to you and true around you. My mind craves the adrenaline of honesty it refuses to acknowledge any less. …

Xs & Os 

Believe me when I say this, No one is more tired that I am.  I wish I could just snap out of it.  And I’ve tried, lord I’ve tried.  From meditation to drugs to sex to rock and roll, I’ve tried.  But pain doesn’t let you get around it – it wakes you up in…

To the fucking cavalry. 

it’s not your story to judge. it’s not your story to judge. it’s not your story to judge. it’s not your story to judge. it’s not your story to judge. it’s not your story to judge. it’s not your story to judge. it’s not your story to judge. it’s not your story to judge. it’s…

Known Devil 

You became what you warned me of.  In your haste to dictate my life you evolved in to the emotionally-manipulative devil you warned me of.  You and I both know, I wouldn’t have made it to twenty-five if I didn’t know a thing or two about emotional manipulation myself.  After all, I left you before…

Love on the other side. 

It’s been about a week of navigating this haze;coming to terms with breach of trust, invasion of personal space, loss of agency – again.  I have always found it difficult to let someone else make decisions for me. I guess that’s the sort of skill you acquire after years of having to be the rational…

Sunset on the 13th 

“Today is one of those days… where I don’t know how to say what I feel but I’m feeling something…something I don’t like”. I spit out, nonsensically.  You’ve seen this before, you know.  You know I will explain my inability to explain for another forty-five minutes and then move on to raging over some absolutely…

Hang up. 

“Okay?”, he says.  “… okay”, you whisper. “I love you”, he says.  you respond with silence followed by the click of the phone – there was no need to pretend it’ll last.  You want to believe him, you want to believe everyone.  But you don’t, you never did.  You want him to leave.  You are…

Maybe this’ll be the last one. 

And I force the words back in,Tears bursting out in pain, My soul begging for a release, begging for words, for it’s all getting too heavy to carry, And the weary heart is walking on thin ice, Waiting for it to crack, To sink her demons in the bottom of the ocean, Even if it…

Only One. 

And I know my solace is in denouncing it all and lying at your feet,I know my answers lie in adorning your saffron robe, and only in that. Sitting under the comfort of nature, away from all earthly distractions and attachments that have exhausted my soul.  Sitting under the comfort of nature, reading through your…

toxic love

Dear Colombo, Let’s call it what it is; you and I have completely exhausted each other. You don’t understand me any more than I understand you. And in our attempts to convince ourselves otherwise, we’ve summoned the worst in each other. We’ve perpetuated our dark sides on to the other like an eclipse: slowly but…