Writing as Anika: 04. Masquerade

Processed with VSCOcam with hb2 preset
Processed with VSCOcam with hb2 preset

I didn’t want to tell them.

Well, I wanted to tell someone.

But who do I tell,

what do I tell?

I’m still successful in recalling nothing,

it helps.

I try to eat something,

for the umpteenth time today,

but I can’t.

My body is rejecting the food –

my body is rejecting life.

I didn’t want to tell anyone,

But she walked in and found me,

sitting on my bed,

a broken mess.

shaking, bleeding, torn –

a site that didn’t need an explanation.

I watched while she cried – she cried a river

she cried all the tears I couldn’t cry.

I couldn’t bare it,

I couldn’t.

I couldn’t have someone go through this hurt,

not first hand,

not even second-hand.

Its been a month since,

no one knows.

I have a smile in place,

silence replaces words,

marijuana induced sleep,

replaces social interactions,

I tell everyone I’m fine,

while carving my inner thigh,

I have to be strong,

a masquerade is born.

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