The Drama Queen

on

“How are you feeling now?”

she asks, “Tell me darling, I’ll be there for you”

She says.

And then you do exactly that. Tears run down your cheeks as you struggle to find words to describe the soul draining, inexplicable, suffocating pain that cripples you from within. You say how you feel.

The hurt.

The pain.

The shame.

The disgust.

The fear.

The remorse.

You don’t want her to say “it’ll be okay”;

for time has taught you that it never really becomes “okay”.

You just get used to it.

You just learn to deal with.

So you don’t want her to lie.

You want her to hold you and say,

You’re still my friend, I still love you. I’ll be there for you, we’ll fight this together.

And instead you hear,

“It’ll be okay, it always does. Stop overreacting it’s no big deal”

So the next time someone asks you how you are you learn to say, “I’m okay” and save the tears for a rainy day.

Because, the truth is, It isn’t going to be okay, when the raw cuts of the wounds heal, you’ll learn to deal with the pain, but the scars will remain. And to you, in that moment, it was a big deal.

So you become seek refuge in the age-old lie, “I’m okay.”image_t6

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