“Yeah?” She responded to the familiar voice that made her stop to catch up on her breath, shifting her eyes from the screen where two people were showing to the world how to live a lie.. Portraying an ideal on screen.
She hated it.
She hated all such sources of false hope.
She wanted people to stop lying, stop trying to convince each other about the “illusionary one” and the “mythical happily ever after” She was young. Very young, but old enough in a way to know that if Cinderella had a pimple in the middle of her face where her nose sat, the shoe wouldn’t have fit her.
She sometimes felt like she was the only one who felt that way. The rest of the female community who adorned themselves with Victoria secrets, pure passion and diamond rings , anticipated a shining knight on top of a white horse and well, they had their own versions of it. But somehow, the knight and the white horse didn’t come along for her and she didn’t repent the absence of such mystical elements in her life.
The white horse backed knight wouldn’t have made it anyway. She concealed herself within a cocoon; an unseen wall.. she was safe in there.. with no one but her own self. She liked it that way.. Someday.. time would come for her to flutter by.
For her own sake, she hoped that “time” would take its own sweet time to arrive.
She had known him for a while now. Not too long, long enough to call him a friend..a close one too. She feared , she feared she would open herself up.. let him see a side of her no one else has. She struggled to hide from him.. but all it took was his voice to bring down her walls. Yet, she was not ready to accept it.. not ready to accept that he, for all she knew, could be her version of a knight-on-a-white-horse.. “It was only some time till he breaks me..” she said.. “ The more I allow him closer.. the more pain he’ll cause”.. But the next morning, at the sight of his face.. the momentarily realization that these words of hers brought, were clouded again.
Here she was, snuggled next to him in nothing more than platonic love.. and a little chemistry adding to it(which she didn’t want to accept). For a moment there, life felt perfectly normal, secure and full of new cares that she wasn’t aware of before.. with their hands locked together, their breath voiced all the unspoken words..
Yet, she was still in denial.
“I love you”, he said in response.