Suicide and I.

Suicide was my escape —  the dream destination that I mulled over, each time my mind tricked me in to feeling like the world was closing in on me. Suicide was my first love —  on most days, I was over it. But the second life got a tad too overwhelming again, I’d find myself…

Inertia

    The moments before it all translates in to paper is by far the most agonizing.  There are emotions trapped fighting their way through the abyss within and they always find their way out; either through meticulously carved incisions etched on the right wrist, or a concoction of darkness and light unraveling on to…

a. m. after

  the walls that were guarding your heart had collapsed and like the ribcage guarding your heart turning inside out, it had pierced right through the very thing it was guarding. You stand comatose unknowing if you are to pull out the damage and heal your heart or to let the thorns fester and seek…

Child of Love

You are the child of love — the personification of a love story that knew no boundaries, knew no restrain. A story that defied the rules, beat the odds. A love that made a house out of pennies and a home out of happiness. A love that withstood the life, death, sickness, heartbreak, & distance only…

Smothered Screams & Scribbles

he veils her lips with his virile hands, rerouting the screams, and for years after, the screams stay trapped inside her soul instead, playing tricks on her hallucinating mind, raising havoc, conversing with death – begging for blades to carve an exit route. Each memory turns black, blurred and distorted – averting the remnants of…

made to love 

  I know now that you were sent my way to make me take deeper roots, to remind me that I’m resilient, that I will always find ways to endure. You almost got me for a while there; your vile words were the ear worm that found its way inside and reminded me of the…

Eulogy; epilogue.

  I forgive you; for leaving the door open,  for trusting a familiar face, for letting him in, for letting them win,  for every possible way in which they made you feel like it was your fault.  for every way in which you coped,  for every time you hurt,  for denying, for being denied.  I…

5.00 p.m. on a Wednesday.

To KDN. 20.04.2017: “If we knew what the future had in store for us, if we knew we had something to look forward to, then maybe it’ll make holding on that much easier”. its 5.00 p.m. on a Wednesday, 2027. We drive through for tea. In some ways, nothing has changed. Neither of us bothered…

Lightning trapped in a bottle

  She walked around holding tight to lightning – lightning trapped in a bottle. And when she saw your face, she trippped on her scars, and crash landed at feet of your grace setting free lightning trapped in a bottle; letting out a blinding bright, shattering glass with thunder in all its might. The sky cried…

Must be love.

13; “you can’t, you shouldn’t, you won’t” A sheep in the herd, part of a system she had no faith in – a system inherited. endure. endure. endure. questions muted before it could leave her – bile trapped in her vessel – trading individuality for convenience. their words like daggers, snipping at the residues of…

Eulogy;

They were asking me about you. I hide my arms behind me, hiding the scars, hiding the ink. You were far too anchored for scars, you were far too meticulous for ink. I manage to fake a smile in retaliation; I don’t have the heart to tell them you are no more. They move on…

Light and Dark 

And I say, destroy the narrative that “light is at the end of the tunnel” . I’m a twenty-something that has spent twenty-something years waiting for the illusive light at the end of the tunnel. The persistent chase for the illusive light has robbed me of the light in the underrated miracle of “now”. I’ve spent…